today, my maths teacher kinda went delirious, she got kinda depressed and agitated, but i don't know why, maybe most of us were not really listening to her (i was paying attention) when she was teaching in the class lately (these few days), most probably statistics was a totally boring subject. she started acting weirdly and blabbering irrelevant stuff. her voice started trembling and she seemed like she wanted to cry, gwad. my friend and i was so afraid that she would start crying, fortunately, not a drop of tear flowed down. *pheww* but my other friend said she cried -leh, swt.
anyway, the whole class was like gaping and staring at her (maybe the gaping was abit far-fetched), but well just looking at her with big, attentive eyes, and some of us (including me) felt like laughing in the beginning when teacher started to blabber about non-relevant stuff, and btw, the whole class was exceptionally quiet (angel passed by).
her "story" started like this, she began telling us about the skills in life. like how a doctor would operate on a patient and sewing up a patients' wound, would he/she do it hastily or patiently. No! she first said, "do all of you want to excel academically or non-academically as in activities and stuff?" "how many of you were very active up to form 5?" bla bla bla. "do you prefer going to a doctor who would sew and stitch your wound beautifully or do it hastily so it would be ugly?" "let's say you met (she said met) an accident, and you got a scar..." bla bla bla. and i was like what the hell is she talking about. i even almost wanted to laugh, and a few of my friends chuckled abit. swt. my gwad, my teacher was practically talking nonsense. all of us know that her main motive was to scold us, but puh-leez, why did she need to talk so far away from the topic? my gwad. i think she was out of her mind.
she explained to us about her university life, about how all her secondary school life, she never ever join any activities and she started participating and organising activities in uni. gwad. and she said most of her Chinese friends hated her because she forced them to join all the activities, and she regrets it now for forcing them, bla bla bla. and she touched on a racist topic (but, i would not say it here, sensitive case) she was involved in this hostel management thingy, (i dunno what the heck is that), and she was to organise every activity. how she struggled hard in her studies, she majored statistics, and she kinda got a bad result during her 1st semester, because she thought she was great at it, although she doesn't understand the topic. (really, i don't understand what the crap she was talking about) and then how all her Chinese friends got first class honour and she only got a second upper. but she told us she was DIFFERENT from all of them, because all her friends that were excellent in their studies didn't join any activities in uni, and she got this erm vice chancellor award, and she said that as a chinese, it was very difficult for her to get the award, bla bla bla. and she called the award is prestige (but in correct english, it's prestigious, teacher). and we were all like "har"? and she had to mix with the malays, and it was a problem for her, because she was chinese educated, and now she must speak and learn in malay, (i was like wat? i thought the main learning language was in english), and now, she teaching in ******'s, its in english medium. she asked us "you adapt to the environment, or the environment suit you? if the environment adapt to you, then you are god."
seriously and honestly, i really feel a little bit sympathy for her, because from the way she talks in english, it's like she has difficulty saying and pronouncing the words (as a listener, my ears would get tired). gwad. and the more she talked, the more her voice trembled, and she was sniffing i tell you. my gwad. she was every emotional. maybe her adrenaline was rushing up, cause she was tapping her feet very quickly. -_-". and i realise she always do that, when she had difficulty in delivering what she wants to say. and she said that she knows her own problem, sometimes when she explains to us, we don't really understand, but she will improve, bla blabla. (but teacher, i don't see that you're improving). and she told us how great her cousin was, she studied in cambridge, but she suffered in the whole process, because her family is poor, and she had to get loan to study in cambridge, and how she was bad in english, and she decided to take extra english lessons while she was studying in singapore for her o levels. bla bla bla. what has her cousin got to do with this? i just don't understand. has she gone paranoid.
and then she started to criticise all of us, saying that we don't have listening skills, we are pampered, our attitude got problem. "if you didn't get an A in maths, are you going to blame the teacher or what? but blaming others is no use, you have to self-improve, i also know i must improve, both my other classes would correct me if im wrong. if you keep your mouth shut, i cannot help you, and it is not my problem, you are sitting for the exam, not me." bla bla bla. she told us that she got this offer from AC Nelson, and she was to become a GREAT statistician (yeah, she did said GREAT), but she turned it down, and she said she was stupid to do that (yeah, i think so too teacher, you should just go work there, and we could have a better maths teacher).
honestly, teacher, i have a few things to say to you too.
1. you should know that, becoming a teacher, you should have a good command in english. since you know that your english is not good (she said "i know my english is not as good as all of you."), you should have brush it up even before coming to this college to teach. and english is like the main 'lingua franca', how could you not improve your english. honestly, i didn't know how you went through the interview, with some broken english here and there.
2. teacher, whether we want to excel academically or non-academically, it's mainly none of your business. and of you're good teacher, you would be able to stabilize and excel in both of it, and get a first class honour and not a second class. how could you simply assume that the active ones in our class is more special and better than the non-active ones. you just have no right to do that. and teacher, we're only in college now, we're not in university, you do realise that don't you. of course we all know that both are important. for gawd's sake.
3. teacher, you said we were pampered children ain't we. oh come on, we're only a bunch of 18 years old, we still have lots more time to learn how to be independent, and wash our own clothes, and other grown up stuff. so, teacher, please do not simply accuse us.
4. and you told us that we have a problem in our attitude, i believe that everyone in this class would want to excel in their studies, who would want to fail, and you only started teaching us for 3 months, god damn it. and if the teacher is not good, how are we supposed to really understand what the hell is going about. i understand, both student and teacher must cooperate together, but then if you teacher have problem explaining the subject to us, how are we supposed to learn and understand. and teacher, you always say "...you will understood" "understood?" it's not understood, it's understand.
5. and you said you won't care about those students who won't listen, well yeah, but actually as a devoted teacher, you should be trying to get them to listen. maybe you're too linear or whatever, but honestly, if you teach well, and we understand well, we would listen to you. and then you didn't tell us in the first place that we could correct you and point you out when you're in the wrong. i mean, obviously, as students, no one would dare to point out a teachers' mistake. so, don't tell us that we didn't point out, it's just that you didn't give us 'permission' to correct you.
and teacher, you should not be so emotional again, you should just control your emotions you know, as a teacher, if you want to cry, go home or go to the toilet and cry, because all of us would think "teacher, suddenly so emotional, and crying." one of my friend said, "nobody scold her also, she crazy liao, suddenly like want to cry lidat." and we would not know what to do if you really burst into tears.
wondering now, did she really went delirious. or was she possessed? stressed out? crazy? or maybe the pms thing, or whether she got the red thing or mood swings? gwad.
now to think about it, i think she was trying to tell us that success doesn't come easy, and you need to do alot of sacrifices to be successful in your life. teacher, just relax and take it easy ya. or maybe you're trying to tell us that we don't respect you? what the hell. we respect teachers all right. and teacher, wanna tell you that, you weren't successful in conveying your message to us. cause basically, it was just loads of crap, and irrelevant.
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