Friday, June 13, 2008

Sometimes things and stuff or even bits and pieces of what people say to me are so overrated. i don't feel at ease at all when listening to stuff like that. i don't need, "you sure get it -lah..." i lagi don't need, "you so smart, no worries..." i don't need these type of words that are so not true. i just need some motivation and encouragement, give me more of that instead of empty words that don't really mean a thing to me. i don't mean to be haughty, but all i need is just maybe "all the best!" or even "i support you!"...

1 and a half month of exams has certainly robbed my appetite off, and certainly my face complexion. i have small little pimples on my facee!! and dark circles around mt eyes!!! LOL! can't really care about that first. handling my future at just a mere age of 19 is big stuff, it's like two big boulders on my shoulders, or even a super uber huge boulder on my chest, drowning in suffocation. sigh.

the good news is i got into IMU for the February intake next year. the bad news is i don't have the mood nor the passion to study for medicine anymore. it's like everything suddenly vanished into thin air in the process of waiting for the outcome of my application. along the way of hard work with tears, sweat and even blood, thoughts appeared in my mind, thinking, is this all worthwhile? am i really fit to become what i want to be? should i take the risk?

i am an adventurer, i am a risk-taker depending on the situation. but this time, i am not everything but a person filled with confusion and even sadness. i feel so sucky.

i feel so useless.

maybe i really am.

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